Gillan sat and listened to the eulogy and could not clear his mind. Thoughts of that night raced through his head. The sound… The Smell… The fear in her eyes… The spark of life leaving her. All were crisp as the wind and as sharp as daggers piercing his heart.
He sat dazed. The words were coming in from time to time to provide him a modicum of comfort. There was nothing that could make the pain go away. Why her? Why not me? If the cat had just killed me, then all would be finished. Rage seethed in his hear and very soul. “That cat!” he thought. Gillan sought for words that could quell his rage, but he was only left with his bloody thoughts. “I’ll tear it limb from limb, break every bone in its little body, I’ll skin its hide and wear—
A tender hand touched his shoulder. One of the girls from the Pearl looked down at him and smiled gently
All eyes were on Gillan. They were waiting for him to speak, he realized. He hoped that he had not been talking out loud. Hesitantly, Gillan walked to the front. His eyes were misty, red and glued to the casket that laid before him.
I—I—What is there to say that can do justice to the woman that lays before us? Gillan gestures. Wipes his eyes and continues. I haven’t always had what you might call a ‘normal’ life. Most of it I have been spent in the corners of humanity. I was one of those people that you avoided coming back from the shops… Gillan paused, then started again. I wasn’t a good guy… No. I wasn’t. How is it that one person can be so responsible for so much change in your life? She was my center. She led me out of the darkness… She did more than I could ever think imaginable. She made me believe in people and real humanity. He choked, stopped and pressed on choking on his tears. Now she’s gone… Gone. She has left a large hole in my heart. One day I hope to be able to move past this and be the man I was—that she helped make. For now, I have to take life a day at a time. I was lucky that I found her—I love you, Miira!
Gillan stepped down to the casket. He had no flower to lay at the casket, just a small box tied with a red ribbon. He leaned to the casket and whispered, “I’m sorry Miira. I should have seen it coming. Miira…” Gillan stood and walked back to where hit was sitting. He spent the rest of the time staring at the casket, hoping, wishing and dreaming for the life that never to come. The life he could not share with the one person that made him feel at home…